That's me in February 2024, about a minute after I was diagnosed with lung disease. It's one of the few photos I have where I'm not smiling, and it's because I suddenly had thousands of questions about my future and my whole life suddenly got uprooted.
You'll find yourself going through all the W's
What is it?
Why is it happening?
What's making it worse?
What can make it better?
What's my future going to be?
Will it kill me?
Will I need a lung transplant?
Why me?
This is completely normal, and it's about as frustrating as things can be. You have a diagnosis, and it might be a really vague one like mine was. Sometimes this is just the way things are, and it's not because your doctors don't know what they're doing, it's because lung disease is a really complex issue and without physically taking your lungs outside of your body, even the best doctors may not be able to tell what was making them fail.
I didn't learn the real reason I needed a lung transplant until after I had my transplant. So be prepared to possibly live your life without having an answer, which can be mentally taxing...but, remember that what you're feeling is normal, and it might be a good idea for you to talk to a professional therapist if you feel overwhelmed. I chose to go start taking anti anxiety medications to help me sleep at night simply because I was finding myself constantly waking up and searching for answers online.
The medications certainly helped me out, and after my transplant I chose to go off of them, but be warned, some of them have some nasty withdrawals and going off of them can be extremely difficult! But, it was still worth the months of better sleep I had before my life saving surgery!
